Edit: This piece was written and published before the contract news this morning. But it’s fun and I stand by it. Enjoy.
As the slow drag to training camp on July 28 continues on for fans of the Green Bay Packers, one thing remains on the mind: Will or won’t Aaron Rodgers show up.
Odds are, if he opts to come back and put aside his frustrations with the front office, he’ll do so by simply just showing up. There won’t be a parade. There won’t be a SportsCenter special like LeBron James did when he joined the Miami Heat. This is training camp, and despite all the drama and the chaos that has unraveled since April, if the reigning MVP is to give it a go again in green and gold, everyone will find out on July 28.
But let’s have some fun. Let’s play the pretend game. Let’s imagine a situation where No. 12 is craving the theatrical element of all of this. Let’s imagine he wanted a shot of adrenaline and the center stage spotlight.
Hang in for a second and imagine this.
Game 6, Milwaukee Bucks against the Phoenix Suns on Tuesday night. Giannis Antetokounmpo is trying to put a stamp on becoming one of the greats as a two-time MVP and an NBA champion. All eyes will be on the Fiserv Forum unless you’re a lunatic who is just craving Cleveland Indians vs. Houston Astros on ESPN+. If you are that kind of person, please seek help.
The first quarter comes and goes, and the celebrity cam is shown. Per usual, David Bakhtiari is slugging brews and firing up the crowd, not spilling a single drop. Other Packers like Za’Darius Smith and Aaron Jones are in attendance donning their Bucks jerseys.
All of a sudden, during the TV timeout between quarters, No. 12 enters stage left. Wearing shades and rocking the short man bun, Rodgers walks into the arena.
What’s the reaction of the crowd? If you believe the message board psychos, you would assume beers would be tossed at Rodgers as boos rain down. But we know Milwaukee better than that: They don’t waste alcohol, and they are typically more welcoming than that, especially to one who still should be considered one of their own.
The amount of tail tucking between the legs that would be seen if Rodgers stepped foot into that arena would be astonishing. And hey, it’s hard to blame Packers fans for that. This offseason has been fairly unbearable at times. It’s been full of headlines and rumors and Adam Schefter foaming at the mouth at any opportunity to talk about Rodgers. But at the end of it all, that crowd in Milwaukee would absolutely lose its mind if No. 12 walked in on Tuesday night.
The rise from the crowd focused on QB1, or the assumed QB1, would take center stage in between quarters. Who could’ve seen this coming? Rodgers has never been the ego type to want the spotlight, right? He wouldn’t come in and try to overshadow the Bucks winning the chip, never.
Speculation would swirl. Twitter would literally blow up. And somewhere in his offseason abode, Jordan Love would yell some not very nice things towards his TV.
Mike Breen comes out of the commercial break, and for the first time in his prolific broadcasting career, he yells, “From way downtown!” But this time it has nothing to do with a shot on the court. Instead, it’s inspired by Rodgers merely walking into the building.
LeBron James, who attended Game 5 in Phoenix, also attends this Game 6 to “support his friend Chris Paul.” Furious that Rodgers is getting all the attention, James pulls out his Lobos 1707 tequila and starts chugging, trying to win over the crowd and regain the courtside seat spotlight. Nobody notices, not a single soul, as everyone remains fixated on Rodgers’ every move. He calmly sits in a seat courtside as if this isn’t a big deal.
This seems fairly unbelievable, correct? Like there’s no chance this actually happens. The whole set of circumstances is beyond comprehension but, what if it did?
What if the third quarter comes to an end and the Bucks and Suns are tied up. One frame, 12 minutes, could decide whether or not the Bucks claim the title or go to a Game 7. The crowd is sweating profusely, and it’s not your typical beer and brats sweat. This is the Game 6, nail-biting time type of nervousness.
Sensing the moment, perhaps incorrectly, Rodgers stands up from his seat, unzips his jacket to reveal a Packers shirt. Somebody cue Jim Ross: This can’t be happening! Then, with the crowd roaring, Rodgers grabs his beer and chugs it in an incredible 36 seconds before pointing towards Bakhtiari. At this point, Bakhtiari is at minimum feeling a strong buzz. But who’s he to stop now? He’s on the jumbotron. Bakhtiari rips down another beer as the camera pans back to Rodgers, who mouths the words into the camera, “I’m back.”
Wouldn’t that be something?
Rodgers probably shows up on July 28 by jogging out onto the field if he decides to return to Green Bay. Or he does it this way. The better way.