Dylan Carlson co-wrote this piece.
It’s that time of year! Wait it’s five months after that time of year, but it’s finally time for us to truly evaluate this draft class. In one short month, we will get to the basketball. But for now, we focus on the most important part of Draft Night — the fashion.
Since at least 1994, Draft Night has been used as a way for players to express themselves for the first time as a new member of a franchise. It doesn’t always work out! Our two favorite outfits from last year, from Rui Hachimura and Darius Garland, have not found as much success on the court, but nothing will stop us from enjoying our version of Oscars night.
Here is our best and worst dressed of the 2020 NBA Draft:
Honorable Mention – Payton Pritchard, Boston Celtics
Although Pritchard’s outfit was terrible — he wore a white tee, an open black double-pocket button-up, and grey chinos. It wasn’t quite “business casual”; it was more “business cowboy.” He gets the honorable mention nod here because his entire family was wearing masks. We’re in the middle of a pandemic, people.
No. 5 – Devin Vassell, San Antonio Spurs
Vassell impressed us while sporting a maroon smoking jacket. He paired the jacket with a Steve Jobsian black turtleneck and black pants to match. He managed to Think Different without thinking too differently, and that’s perfect for Gregg Popovich and R.C. Buford. It was as if Hugh Hefner were a young, attractive black man who definitely respects women.
No. 4 – Saddiq Bey, Detroit Pistons
Mr. Bey must have thought he was going to be drafted by Sacramento because he was rocking a purple plaid suit. Unfortunately, he was drafted by the Pisto — wait…what’s worse, ending up in Detroit, or Sacramento? Anyway, thank God he decided not to wear print on his shirt. (Print under print is a big no-no. Talking to you, James Wiseman.) He rocked a very tasteful chain over a plain black t-shirt, which showed sophistication and maturity that matches his game.
No. 3 – Aaron Nesmith, Boston Celtics
We call tampering! What are the odds Nesmith would be wearing a green plaid suit only to be drafted by the Celtics? Whether it was kismet or Danny Ainge called ahead to help him coordinate his outfit, Nesmith knocked our socks off (although Dylan is totally into the suit with loafers and no socks look rn). He helped complement the muted evergreen plaid by pairing a dark green tie over a cream-colored undershirt. One of Dylan’s rules is that you always go darker on the tie. The outfit was bold, yet sophisticated.
No. 2 – Tyrese Haliburton, Sacramento Kings
We have three words: Blue Floral Suit. Actually, we have three more words: Black Lives Matter. Ok, just a few more words: 920 to the League. We thought the matching blue floral jacket and pants were flashy, but Haliburton really showed out by revealing the messages “Black Lives Matter” and “920 to the League” written on the inside of his jacket. The young man from Oshkosh repped his hometown and took the opportunity to remind the world that, yes, black lives really do matter.
No. 1 – Tyrese Maxey, Philadelphia 76ers
SOURCES: Because of this stellar outfit, Tyrese Maxey has preemptively signed his second contract, rumored to be worth around $75M over four years. The tweed on tweed on tweed was worth the risk. He showed maturity and that means business. Morey goes from one of the most flamboyantly (and well) dressed point guards of all time to a man with the style of a 1960’s British detective, which is the pinnacle of high fashion. And after the roller-coaster ride Morey has had over the last couple of years, I think he’s ready for a defensive-minded point guard who is business-first.
Honorable Mention – Isaac Okoro, Cleveland Cavaliers
Okoro wore an oversized bright red blazer with a black shirt underneath that had THE TOP TWO BUTTONS UNDONE WITH NARY A HAIR IN SIGHT. NO-KORO, NO. Was it even a jacket, or was it actually the dress from Annie? Luckily, his dad was wearing a beautiful, blue three-piece suit, with a red bowtie to match his boy. Papa Okoro’s slick style and beaming smile saved his son from our bottom five.
No. 5 – Anthony Edwards, Minnesota Timberwolves
We love Anthony Edwards so much. We are so happy he is on the Minnesota Timberwolves. But, we don’t love his look. He wore a black letterman over a graphic tee and ripped jeans. What, was he planning to go to the club after the draft? Well, maybe. Bars are probably still open in Georgia. Just because you rap like Lil Baby, doesn’t mean you need to dress like a little baby.
No. 4 – James Wiseman, Golden State Warriors
So, James, you clearly thought you were going to Charlotte. You wore a blue-green plaid pattern on your suit, fine. But, THEN you thought it was a smart idea to add a throwback 90s Charlotte-esque print on your T-Shirt. Overall the T-Shirts were a big loser on the night, but this one was especially offensive. Everything was far too busy, and I couldn’t tell if you were going on a Scotch tasting bar crawl or trying to trade Digimon cards. Also, please — everyone entering the league — make sure you have a good strategy for wearing a hat.
No. 3 – Leandro Bolmaro, Minnesota Timberwolves
Bolmaro made this list for one reason: Jeans. And, oof, these jeans were ugly. He hit us with loose-fit, medium wash jeans that looked like Target got word that he was coming to Minnesota and preemptively gave him a Massimo sponsorship. We are so disappointed that two Timberwolves made the worst-dressed list. Luckily, D’Angelo Russell should be able to teach them a thing or ten about fashion.
No. 2 – Cole Anthony, Orlando Magic
He was surrounded by family (and Spike Lee) as he followed in his father’s footsteps and began his NBA journey. It was a beautiful scene – a scene that was thrown up on by a gold snakeskin jacket. How many gold snakes had to die for that horrible jacket? Also, you’re a rich New Yorker, why did you have the worst WiFi connection of any draftee? C’mon bro.
No. 1 – Malachi Flynn’s Entire Family
One of the worst things that could happen to a person is to be embarrassed on national TV. Even worse yet, an entire family being embarrassed on national TV. Ladies and gentleman we present to you, the Flynn family:
They say a picture speaks a thousand words. In the case of this picture, all of them are bad. It turns out that everyone in Flynn’s family is currently in a relationship with the Tiger King himself, Joe Exotic.
There you have it, folks! What was more shallow: The talent pool or the fashion pool? Only time will tell.