The end of August means Skoldiers will be flocking to The Great Minnesota Get-Together over the next two weeks. With folks in the Twin Cities soaking up what little fun in the sun we have left around here, it’s easy to understand why a majority of people have a little extra pep in their step. After all, the NFL season kicks off in just 13 days when the Buffalo Bills pay a visit to SoFi Stadium to take on the defending the world champion Los Angeles Rams on Thursday, September 8. And football fans in Minnesota are giddy to witness the Vikings enter a new era under Kwesi Adofo-Mensah and Kevin O’Connell.
But life isn’t so chipper around the league right now. With cut day — when all 32 teams have to trim their rosters down to their official 53 — right around the corner on August 30, countless dreams will be dashed. Instead of adding to the tension this week brings for the young men competing for NFL roster spots — and the inevitable doom for Minnesotans as summer comes to a close — let’s have a little bit of fun today, eh?
Most Vikings fans would agree that, over the past 20 years, there have been a few touchstones for the Purple and Gold.
- Oohing and ahhing over Randy Moss‘s Hall of Fame career
- Getting one’s roll on with Daunte Culpepper
- Heartbreak courtesy of field goal kickers
- Heartbreak courtesy of Luke McCown on fourth-and-24 in Week 17
- Experiencing that adrenaline rush when Adrian Peterson busts into the open field
- Additional heartbreak over Brett Favre throwing across his body back into the middle of the field in New Orleans
- The Minneapolis Miracle
- Heartbreak courtesy of Big Stick Nick and the Philadelphia Eagles
- Another triumphant playoff victory against New Orleans
Providing the soundtrack for these memorable moments has been none other than Paul Allen. And, since 2007, former Viking Pete Bercich has provided the color commentary for these unforgettable moments in Vikings history.
Not to take anything away from what Allen and Bercich have accomplished together — and the magic that they’ll continue to create together going forward — but what if, for just one game this season, the Vikings and KFAN brought in another Minnesota icon to be PA’s sidekick on the radio call?
With so many icons to choose from, where do we even begin?
No, I’m not talking about a reunion between PA and “The Super Freak” Randy Moss.
Not even Hall of Famer Cris Carter could make the cut for this occasion.
Matt Birk is probably too consumed with gas prices at the moment to take a three-and-a-half-hour break with PA.
So is Michelle Tafoya, more than likely.
Could Robert Smith take time off from his college football gig with Fox Sports and the Big Ten Network? Nah.
But if not any of the aforementioned Minnesota heroes, who could be up to the task for such a momentous occasion?
Enter the Clown From Brown. The Fourth In the North. The Best of the Lousiest. And the Lousiest of the Best. Yes, I’m talking about the capeless hero of Minnesota sports radio and PA’s colleague from KFAN, Dan “The Common Man” Cole — yeah, baby!
Now, if you know anything about KFAN, I presume you’re probably thinking to yourself, “Why would I want two polar opposites calling a Vikings game?”
Yes, PA and Common are unquestionably cut from two completely different cloths. But sometimes, when two people who aren’t necessarily “supposed to” collaborate with each other, this is when the magic happens. Just ask anyone who’s ever listened to Beyonce’s “Don’t Hurt Yourself” off her Lemonade album, which features Jack White and a Led Zeppelin sample.
Hear me out. In Week 3, Common’s Motor City Kitties from Detroit pay a visit to US Bank Stadium. In the spirit of the more light-hearted approach that has accompanied the Adofo-Mensah and O’Connell era, why can’t Skoldiers get in on the breath of fresh air?
Could you imagine the hilarity that would ensue with these two iconic KFAN colleagues calling a game together?
PA: “It’s third-and-seven. Clock’s ticking down. Vikings are driving. Common, do you think KOC can get JJ open on this play?”
Common: “You know, PA, I’ve been hooking my short irons.”
Speaking of which, the real question is: Would Common be able to sacrifice a Sunday afternoon on the golf course in order to give Minnesota sports fans what they really want? Even if they don’t realize it just yet?
Imagine Common playing “Profound or Preposterous” with The Purveyor of Purple Positivity in the middle of a Vikings game.
Do you think PA knows how Common learned how to count? (Oh-and-one. Oh-and-two. Oh-and-three, etc.) If PA wasn’t previously made aware of Common’s counting habits, what better time for him to find out than during the opening drive of the Detroit Lions’ offense, led by Jared Goff?
Putting these two in the booth together for just one game would be worthy of a cover charge at the door — which, of course, would go directly into Common’s pocket, and rightfully so.
All kidding aside, putting the guy who takes life a little less seriously than most alongside the CEO of Sports Sports Sports Your Whole Life is Sports during a Vikings game is everything that this state has ever needed.
Now, how do I get in touch with Chad Abbott in order to make this dream a reality on Sept. 25?