It’s August. We can see the light at the end of the offseason tunnel. Real NFL football feels so close we can almost taste it…
And yet, we’re still waiting. And at this point of the offseason, we don’t even have bad preseason football to tide us over yet. Football fans are clinging desperately to every last crumb of football content, and so far that’s basically just clips of training camp footage going viral on Twitter. (Or X, I guess?)
And so fans do what fans do. They react with fanaticism. Forget level-headed, measured excitement. Let’s all freak out about the latest report out of camp by some aggregator on Twitter about how much Player A is “killing it” in camp.
All joking aside, this is the time for overreactions.
It’s hype season. Why be a Debbie Downer right now? The Vikings may find a way to crush our hopes in dreams later this season, but they can’t lose a game yet.
So let’s hop on the bandwagon. Let’s drink the Kool-Aid. Let’s leave cynicism and our level head in the regular season where it belongs. Instead, let’s buy into every piece of the offseason hype machine. We’re going full, message board level homerism folks, so strap yourselves in!
Lewis Cine is BACK, BABY!
Call it. Vikings win the trade. While Jameson Williams is gambling and punching teammates, Lewis Cine is back on the field and ready to take over the league.
Leg looks good to me! Cine is flying around the practice field and making the plays we saw on tape when he was at Georgia. Off the charts athleticism combined with Brian Flores’ tutelage equals the next great Viking’s safety. SKOL!
DeWayne McBride can catch!? RB1!?
The Bruising Blazer from UAB came into this league with one question mark on his resumé. Can he catch?
After being non-existent in the UAB passing attack, there were doubters. Was it simply something he was incapable of, or did UAB overlook his potential to contribute as a receiver.
Looks pretty natural to me! If McBride learns to contribute on third down in addition to his tenacity and fearlessness as a ball carrier, the seventh-round rookie could be STEAL OF THE DRAFT.
Jordan Addison is gonna be a PROBLEM for the NFC North.
Tight window over the middle in traffic? No problem. We’ve got the offensive rookie of the year!
Showing off the silky smooth routes that helped him win the Biletnikoff as the nation’s best receiver, Jordan Addison is ready to cement himself as the Day 1 starter Kevin O’Connell and Kwesi Adofo-Mensah drafted him to be. He’s shifty, explosive, and effortless as a route runner. The NFC North isn’t ready for this wide receiver group!
Kirk Cousins is DEALING.
Perennially underrated, the true star of Netflix’s Quarterback is ready for a revenge tour on all the doubters this season. He’s more comfortable than ever, and seems to be better than ever in Year 2 of Kevin O’Connell’s offense.
WE SEE YOU, KIRKO! Perfectly placed ball to a streaking K.J. Osborn up the seam in between three defenders. Captain Kirk is showing he’s got the answers to any defensive Kobayashi Maru test if he’s got throws like that in his bag. Get this man another chain!
And finally, for the over-the-top reaction that I feel may be the least over the top of them all.
Is it possible that Justin Jefferson deserves even higher expectations?
He’s the best receiver in football. He’s a Madden 99. And somehow we might still be too low on our expectations in Year 2 of O’Connell’s offense.
Since camp opened, has there been a single day go by without a freakish Justin Jefferson highlight? It feels like the answer is no. The patron saint of circus catches just keeps doing it, making it look effortless with each new rep.
I mean he’s like if Spider-man got bitten by a radioactive Jerry Rice. Human beings aren’t supposed to catch that ball, much less make it look like child’s play.
And I get it, the Vikings’ secondary is not exactly the Legion of Boom. It doesn’t matter. Jefferson’s always been on another level, and he may be breaking through his ceiling again. He’s the runaway MVP candidate and the rest of the league has been put on notice.
Don’t let the snarkiness fool you, I completely support any and all offseason hype. We’re all excited and simply trying to pass the time until the season finally kicks off. Save the cynicism for another day. Kick back, enjoy the ride, and watch another Jefferson highlight.
