With the Christmas season approaching, many will turn to holiday movies to get them in the mood. While some will fire up National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, Home Alone, or It’s a Wonderful Life, others can’t help but be swept in by the avalanche of Hallmark movies.
If you have a significant other, you probably know what I’m talking about. A successful girl from the big city can never find true love until she spots the 6’5” former NFL quarterback who just happens to be running a tree lot while going home to visit her family in Montana. Or the upcoming cosplay where the insanely popular musician falls in love with the nuclear warhead football player powered by dumb jock energy.
Most people will probably need three or four egg nogs to get through one of these films. The best one this year may not be aired on Lifetime, though. Instead, it will take place on a football field in Minneapolis.
That’s because Kirk Cousins and the Atlanta Falcons are coming to take on Kevin O’Connell and the Minnesota Vikings on Sunday. It’s been over a year since Cousins played his last game on the U.S. Bank Stadium turf. Still, Sunday’s game reflects a storyline that’s good enough to get everyone in the holiday spirit.
It started last spring when Cousins and O’Connell were in a harmonious relationship. O’Connell was the bright young head coach, and Cousins was his quarterback, giving him a preferred baseline to help the Vikings reach their goal of being “super competitive.”
Things were going well after two years, but Cousins wanted something more. Like a Dear John letter-writer in the middle of the night, Cousins split and took a four-year, $180 million contract from the Falcons, leaving O’Connell searching for his next quarterback.
That’s a slightly different twist from the typical Hallmark movie storyline. It’s hard to envision O’Connell laying on his couch with the blinds drawn and sucking down Redi Whip while trying to cope with the bad news. Still, Cousins didn’t just break his heart; he broke the hearts of millions of Vikings fans.
It was hard for this group to envision a life without Cousins. So many quarterbacks had burned them before it was hard to keep track. They went the older route with Warren Moon and Jim McMahon in the ‘90s. They even went with the young heartthrob, seeing Daunte Culpepper injure his knee and Christian Ponder (who looks like the leading actor in one of these films) flame out spectacularly.
You can’t just find another Cousins, just like the main character would never find someone like the ex who dumped them. But that’s when the fun new quarterback comes around.
Many groaned when the Vikings decided on Sam Darnold, and for good reason. He had been tabbed as “Mr. Right” with the New York Jets and Carolina Panthers. However, he was on his way to becoming a future UFL star after spending a year with the San Francisco 49ers, mainly on the bench.
When Darnold arrived in Minnesota, nobody knew what to think. And when J.J. McCarthy injured his knee, O’Connell and Darnold became the classic odd couple forced to spend time with each other. But just like the cool, new girlfriend bringing a puppy into the fold, Darnold brought O’Connell and Vikings fans a life after Cousins.
Darnold has revitalized his career in Minnesota, leading the Vikings to a 10-2 record. While many skeptics in the national media cling to the Yeah, but they have Sam Darnold narrative, Darnold has kept the Vikings a step away from the Detroit Lions and led three game-winning drives over the past two games after the Vikings forced him to do another one in overtime at Soldier Field.
There have been ups and downs, like the fun new girlfriend accidentally lighting the turkey on fire at Thanksgiving. (Light drama!) But O’Connell and the Vikings are relatively happy, which is something you can’t say about Cousins’ relationship with his new team.
This is where the Hallmark movie has its long-awaited payoff. After shedding 30 pounds and linking up with the fun, new girlfriend, the main character usually runs into their ex at the grocery store, holiday party, or on the most charming Main Street you could ever imagine. While the ex seems to be happy with her new stockbroker boyfriend, they are completely miserable on the inside.
The Falcons signed Cousins to become their franchise quarterback. However, like drinking a “One of Everything” from Michael Scott, they may have realized their mistake. The Falcons believed they had the “one quarterback away” infrastructure to win a Super Bowl, but Cousins hasn’t proved to be that quarterback.
Atlanta’s offensive line hasn’t been good enough to keep Cousins upright, as his mobility was sapped coming off a torn Achilles. The cast of weapons, including Bijan Robinson, Kyle Pitts, and Drake London, hasn’t meshed with their new quarterback. The defense hasn’t been able to generate a pass rush. It all culminated in a four-interception performance on Sunday that made Cousins look more generous than Santa Claus.
The realization may have come long before Sunday afternoon as the Falcons drafted Michael Penix Jr. with the eighth-overall pick in last April’s draft. For a quarterback who allegedly couldn’t handle Bo Levi Mitchell as his backup, Cousins has revolved into his usual teeth-clenching mess.
Perhaps Cousins will mention his discovery of “Swag Surfin’” as evidence he’s happy in his new relationship, but O’Connell can counter with a more solid argument.
O’Connell not only has his quarterback of the present in Darnold, but he has built a Super Bowl contender that he can keep adding to when the $70.5 million in dead cap space – including the $28.5 million owed to Cousins – comes off the books next spring. And even if Darnold doesn’t lead them to a title this year, he has “Mr. Right,” J.J. McCarthy, waiting in the wings.
The Hallmark movie usually has a happy ending, with the main character and his new partner smiling in front of their furious ex. If you’ve followed Vikings football, that probably seems unlikely. But it would be a sight to see O’Connell and Darnold holding up a Lombardi Trophy while Cousins seethes in the background – even with $180 million in hand.
It’s a storyline that could be bathed in snow and set in a winter wonderland. But the Vikings will have to settle for a chilly Sunday afternoon where a win could bring them one step closer to some holiday cheer.