The Minnesota Vikings entered the locker room at halftime down 33-0 to the Indianapolis Colts. The boos could be heard throughout U.S. Bank Stadium. Kevin O’Connell went into his office for a moment to breathe.
“I don’t know if we’re going to make it,” O’Connell lamented. “The season was going so well, but this game is terrible. Maybe the team would have been better off with another coach instead of me.”
Just then, a bright light flashed, and O’Connell heard a familiar voice.
“THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE!!!” The voice screamed. “YOU’RE LETTING THEM OFF THE HOOK!”
O’Connell couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Dennis Green stood before him, the second-winningest coach in Vikings history. Green knows a thing or two about building a successful squad.
“I’m not gonna lie — it’s bad,” Green said. “But it’s not that bad. Let me show you what this team would look like without you if they had taken one of the other available coaches this year instead.”
”Like the movie It’s A Wonderful Life?” O’Connell asked Green.
”Sure,” Dennis said, “If that helps you.”
Green blew into a whistle hanging from his neck, and suddenly the two coaches were standing together in the U.S. Bank Stadium parking lot. The Vikings were in full uniform standing outside. Jim Harbaugh stood in front of them, shirtless, while they all did jumping jacks to make them tougher.
The Vikings were in a similar situation under Harbaugh, but there was a touch missing. Sitting atop the NFC North, there was the same type of tension that existed in the final weeks of the Mike Zimmer era. Harbaugh shuffled between Kirk Cousins and Sean Mannion to create competition in the early weeks of camp and challenged a local beat reporter to a fistfight after a preseason game.
While Minnesota was just fine, they didn’t seem to have the same cohesiveness that O’Connell had brought them, which didn’t make them legitimate contenders. You could tell from the players’ hangdog expressions that they were headed into a tailspin at the most critical part of the season.
Green blew his whistle again, and he and O’Connell were back in the locker room, watching another head coach pacing and grabbing his earlobe nervously.
“Guys, I could really use some help,” Nathaniel Hackett pleaded to his team. “This isn’t good at all.”
After years of the intense but stoic Zimmer, the Vikings had floundered under the happy-go-lucky Hackett. He couldn’t get the same magic out of Cousins that he was able to get out of Aaron Rodgers, Blake Bortles, and Ryan Nassib, and the Vikings were a three-win team, leaving fans and players alike hopeless.
O’Connell was amazed. How could one coach make this big of a difference? But before he thought of an answer, Green blew his whistle again. This time, they were at training camp. The sun beat down on the fields of TCO Performance Center. The Vikings looked relaxed but not particularly focused.
Adam Thielen walked toward the locker room with the deepest Vegas tan you could imagine. Dalvin Cook looked extremely hungover after partying on a yacht in Miami the night before. Cousins had just returned from an 11-day vacation wearing the finest shirt Kohl’s cash could buy.
“Whatever they need to do to get ready,” Todd Bowles said with a shrug. Bowles attempted to rally the troops, but nobody was paying attention. Kris Boyd wondered aloud who would be the next player to go on vacation, and Cousins presented Bowles with a revised gameplan he had drawn up the night before. At 6-8, the Vikings were fighting for their playoff lives but seemed to have the same “Christmas Hangover” they had nearly one year ago.
Green blew his whistle again and took O’Connell on one last stop. There, the entire locker room looked like they had seen a ghost. While O’Connell wondered if his cover was blown, he turned around to see Mike Zimmer with fire in his eyes and venom in his voice.
“This is completely pathetic,” Zimmer screamed. “Have you guys even seen a football before? If Bill Parcells were here, you would all be cut tomorrow!”
Defensive coordinator Deion Sanders shared the same sentiment.
“I”m going into the transfer portal tomorrow and cutting all of you,” Sanders screamed before being reminded the transfer portal doesn’t exist in the NFL. “Coach Zim is the greatest ever!”
Zimmer played clips of all of the Vikings’ mistakes from the first half and screamed to offensive coordinator Klint Kubiak that they needed to establish the run while down 33 points. Just as Justin Jefferson called his agent to scream, “Trade me right now!” the whistle blew one last time, and O’Connell was back in the office.
It was still halftime. The Vikings were still down 33-0, but KOC was their leader, and they weren’t going down without a fight. O’Connell burst into the locker room and encouraged his team to keep fighting. Wouldn’t you know it? The Vikings won the game! The crowd that had been booing them hours before started screaming for a different reason as Joseph’s game-winner went through the uprights.
“Nobody is a failure whose team plays this hard for them,” Ed Donatell said. “You really are the richest man in town.”
As the Vikings lifted O’Connell on their shoulders, he looked through the open side of the stadium. He saw Denny again, giving a thumbs up and smiling with approval.
“You see, Kevin, you really are a wonderful coach.”
O’Connell winked back at his guardian angel. Justin Jefferson grinned, flashing his diamond grillz, and said, “Kirk says every time the Gjallarhorn blows, a Viking gets his win.”
